So, I'm sure you all have noticed the total and complete lacking of quality posts lately, other than the usual Martha Mondays (which I post late all the time) and some pretty half-assed Thrifty Thursdays. Well, there are a couple of reasons for this...
The first one, school is kicking my butt this quarter. I'm taking two lecture classes: Theories & Concepts of Classical Techniques and Sustainable Purchasing & Controlling Costs. No labs (kitchen classes) for me this quarter, but next quarter I'll be taking 12 credits of just labs (eek!). I'm doing well in both classes, but really only because the only things I do with my time is go to class, do homework, go to the gym, and sleep. I have no social life to speak of! But, that's ok because I should be done next summer and off to live my dream of being a pastry chef! It's all worth it in the end, right? :)
My super awesome team from San Antonio. I miss them terribly!
The other reason isn't such a happy reason. T and I have separated and divorce papers will be done next month. We 'officially' split up July 5th, less than a month before our first anniversary.
It blindsided me. It blindsided everyone. Everyone but him. We had been living apart since I was in culinary school in San Antonio and he was recruiting in San Angelo, but one of us would make the drive to the other as often as we could. Things were stressful, but we both wanted to make it work. Or so it seemed.
I would say, "us in happier times", but apparently this picture is a lie.
To make a very, very long story short, he apparently never wanted to marry me. He only married me because "he didn't want to go through a breakup in Afghanistan and the wedding was already underway when he got back". He knew he wanted 'out' over two years ago and didn't have the guts to end things, so instead he wasted 2+ years of my life and a ton of my parent's money on a wedding he knew was a sham. He knew that I didn't believe in divorce, but he didn't care. He also knew I would support him through thick and thin. Once he got home from deployment and started recruiting, there was no reason to have that support system anymore. So he left.
He tricked me into moving to Florida so that he could divorce me. The weekend before I left, we sat on the patio at his parent's house and I bawled my eyes out because he was being distant. He looked me in the eyes, told me he loved me, and that he wanted to make it work. Lies. His plan to divorce me was almost finished at that point.
You want to know one of the worst parts? He told several of his friends before he told me. When you're planning on breaking up with someone, especially if you're married, do the right thing and tell them before you tell anyone else. Not many things hurt more than finding out your soon-to-be ex-husband's friends know you're getting divorced before you do.
Needless to say, I'm a smidge bitter and angry. I haven't really wanted to do much cooking or baking recently, and I haven't done a single craft in what seems like forever. Hence the lack of quality posts.
Considering the circumstances, I'm doing well. Most days I don't even think about him, but when I do, I'm angry at him. I'm trying to look to the future and think about all the things I would have had to given up if we had stayed together, and all the wonderful things I can do on my own now.
Everything happens for a reason, right?